Tips for Effective Mentoring

MENTOR / MENTEE COMMUNICATION

How Can I get my Mentee to open up and talk to me?
It is very common for young people to have difficulty opening up, especially in the beginning. So, remember to be patient and keep your expectations realistic. As the weeks go by, there may also be 'good' days and 'bad' days. Sometimes students might have a lot on their mind, or other things going on in their lives, and they might not seem to be 'all there' when you are visiting each week. Try to roll with it, resist judging their behavior, and keep showing up. In time, your mentee will know that you are there for them, no matter what they might be going through.

Here are three ideas  to help get conversations started:

 1. Build trust by finding common and fun subjects or interests you can talk about:
- Does your mentee enjoy movies or books? Compare your favorite and least favorite films or novels.
- Do you have a favorite hobby you can share with your mentee - but don't expect that they will like it too!
- Do you have some silly or funny school memories from your youth? A good laugh is always helpful.

2. Let your mentee give you a tour of their school - let them be the 'expert':
- Sometimes walking and talking side by side is easier.
- Students are more likely to talk about things when you show a keen interest and really listen.
 - It will be helpful for you to know your way around the school, in case you need to attend an event there.

3. Start and finish each visit with some simple praise:
- Everyone likes to hear 'I am glad to see you today,' or 'Thanks for spending time with me today.'
- If you think you feel a bit nervous, your mentee probably does too. A big smile is a great greeting.
- Remember you are a role model. Use the good manners and big smile you'd like to see from them!

ALSO REMEMBER:  Some mentees have never been taught the social skills of conversation and communication with adults. It does not mean that they do not want to talk with you. Often they simply don't know how to. Your positive feedback will help be a great building block for their future.